If you have been reading this great blog you will know that I am in North Dakota. I was looking for my parents but I gave up on that. They are really good hiders.
As you should know, I went to the state fair and had a drunk guy fall on me. That was kind of interesting but not what you would call a tourist stop due to the fact that you can find drunk guys pretty much everywhere. But North Dakota has some big things to look at like this giant cow I saw near this town called New Salem. I don’t know what happened to the old Salem but maybe they just got tired of it and got a new one. In America we can do that because we are the greatest nation in the world and can afford to just throw stuff away we don’t want anymore.
Anyway, there is this huge cow on a hill that you can see from the highway. It is really really big and when you first see if from the road you think “wow, that is a big cow up there” which is just what they probably want you to think since it is big for reals. You look at it as you drive by and have to decide if you should stop and get closer like that is the thing to do with giant cows. Well, I figured since I wasn’t having much luck finding my parents I had time to check out that big cow on the hill.
Once you drive up that hill and see the cow up close you have reactions. The first is that it is a big cow for sure and not just an optimal delusion from the road. After that you discover that it is not a real cow which is sort of a relief. Cows stand really still so you can’t tell if it’s a fake until you get close and notice that it is not real. Then you wonder why anybody would make this giant cow and put it up there in the first place. But when you hang out in North Dakota for a while you see that making a big cow is something a North Dakota person might do. It’s hard to explain due to the fact that it’s almost a megaphysical issue, not like the cows in India which are megaphysical totally. Besides, a fake cow has limited megaphysical value and I would know.
When I left that giant cow up on that hill I was happy for some reason which I figured out later was mostly not happiness but about wind which I discovered is the most important thing about North Dakota except for the flatness. I am going to write about North Dakota wind next.
i grew up in south dakota. i know about really big cows, myself. i don’t live there anymore and i never will again, but upon entering the town i grew up in, right after the aluminum factory and right before the slaughterhouse, there is an enormous cow sort of ‘guarding’ the town if you will; a huge, american flag bannered cow. That’s right. Not even a cow that looks like a real cow. A cow that has been plastered with america. it’s gross, it’s obnoxious, it’s just kinda dumb; it’s the midwest.