Randomism

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Somethings happen out of nowhere. Like for instance when I was ten or about and this seagull pooped on me for no good reason. I hadn’t done anything to deserve it unless you count the time I shot a robin with my bb-gun and killed him. So if birds are like squirrels then maybe it was a statement of bird justice. But I don’t believe in fate like it’s something that has to happen because it’s fated.

For instance, say I run a red light and crash into some old lady in a Volvo. Now that’s not fate—only for the reason that old ladies should not drive Volvos. If she was driving a Hummer, then I might consider fate a possibility due to the fact that an old lady driving a Hummer would be against nature. Fate would want to kill that old lady and might pick me to do it, except being that I have a Civic I would probably get killed first, which would put a damper on fate’s plans. In that case it would be random instead of fate, which is a different thing totally.

Randomism is the belief in randomness, which is something coming out of nowhere for no good reason. This is why I mentioned the seagull pooping incident. Seagulls never poop except by randomness due to the fact that I’ve heard that birds can’t control when they poop. They don’t have any sphinx muscles so the poop just falls out no matter what. That’s the perfect definition of randomness which is what this post is about.

Life needs randomness mostly because if life were planned out totally there’d be no reason to get up in the morning. You could stay in bed and the same things would happen because of the lack of randomness. For example, you could still get a paycheck from work because of no randomness, which could be good actually. But since there is randomness you probably would just get fired.

I’m not saying that you can’t deal with randomness. You can mostly, like not going where there are seagulls for instance. But then a robin might poop on you anyway because they are birds without sphinx muscles either. So maybe you could stay inside the house and be free of a poop threat. That might work.

But the point of this is that randomness comes out of nowhere, otherwise it would be something else, like fate or maybe even religion, which if you want to know is about God taking over for fate personally. The advantage to that is that you can talk to God, but you can’t talk to fate which is more out there like a vibe. God never liked fate anyway, mostly because he hates being bossed around. So he took over for fate and invented religion so both him and us could get along.

But the question is if God is secretly being bossed around even if he doesn’t know it. Actually, he probably doesn’t believe it either, since religion’s about believing, and who’s God going to believe in except himself totally, unless fate sticks its nose in there sometimes. Then you’ve got issues let me tell you.

The way to see this is with randomness. So here’s how I explain it: fate is not randomness and neither is God so they don’t count. Randomness could make God happen by total accident, like nothing nothing nothing—ping—God! This would explain lots of other things too like disco and Wayne Newton. You can’t blame God for those things unless you want to make him mad. But if you hold out, randomness could strike again, like God, God, God—ping—nothing nothing nothing.

So randomness has its reasons which nobody knows. Some scientists think they know, but they don’t. They’re fooling themselves. All it takes is one seagull to change your mind about just about everything.

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