Indian Cows

I was in India once.  For reals.  Don’t ask me why because I don’t know the answer.  But that’s why most people end up in India anyway, when they don’t know answers.  They think that in India they can find the meaning to life.  But let me tell you, there is no way you’re going to find the meaning to life here.  You will find cows.

Cows in India live in the city.  They are city cows.  I can’t talk about the country cows in India because I have not had the pleasure of meeting one.  Maybe they’re like the urban cows, but I wouldn’t know since I haven’t met a country cow in India.  The city cows live in the streets right along with the cars and bikes and people.  They walk along like nobody’s business sort of bored looking.  Sometimes they stop by a trash pile which there are a lot of and eat some trash.  They seem not to mind that they’re eating trash, which sort of goes along with the fact the people don’t seem to mind throwing their trash on the side of the road.  It’s a nice balance that a person can appreciate.

Well, anyway, these cows are brown and have long horns.  But they look Indian not like they are from Texas.  I’ve thought about this, like why they look like India cows instead of Texas cows.  I’ve come up with an answer which is I don’t know.  You would not know either if you had thought about it like I have.  So there they are in the streets just walking and lying down right there on the side, maybe eating more trash.

In America cows don’t do that.  American cows know where they’re supposed to be, in the field away from the city.  City cows don’t live in America because nobody in America would even talk to them.  For example in New York.  If a city cow from India visited New York, the people would not even make eye contact with it which people in New York don’t do.  If a city cow was in LA, it would get shot or maybe even spray painted some gang name.  Americans wouldn’t know what to do with a cow in the city.

Indian cows know that Indians will leave them alone to walk around or lie down or eat trash whenever they want.  That’s because Indian cows are somebody else not just cows.  That’s right.  Indian cows are somebody who just happens to be a cow which is why you won’t have an Indian cow moving to New York.  Why would you go from being somebody being a cow to a cow being just a cow?  I wouldn’t for sure.  So that basically explains it.

Anyway, that’s all I have to say about Indian cows (which is not, I hope you know, the same thing as a Native American cow which is just a cow anyway only more mystical).  American cows may not be somebody else, but they definitely know where they stand in the scheme of things, like as meat.

So the next time you have a steak or hamburger, be thankful that you aren’t eating somebody who was a cow.  That would be cannibalism and not a great thing to do.  But since you’re eating a cow that was not being somebody else, you don’t have to worry about it, although if it’s a Native American cow you may want to thank it first.

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One Response

  1. nice cow

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