Indian Fashion

As I have been writing about India since I was in India once, which you should know by now I hope. You have discovered that I am pretty much an expert on India by now. Except for one guy who interrupted me with an interruption on coffee shops, most everybody should believe me based on the evidence. Which is good since this will probably be my last writing about India since I am getting ready to go to another topic. The technological persons who are reading this will realize that this would be a problem for me. It is very hard to write on a blog without the internet. Trust me, I know. Of course there may be some coffee experts out there who might think different than me about this, but the rest of you can trust me.

But I have not talked about the weather in India. It is called monsoon season. This is not the same thing as the holiday season but almost, just it’s about the weather.  Monsoon season is about monsoons. Monsoons are rain storms with clouds and wind and rain importantly. A person could be walking along the trash and cows minding their own business when a monsoon will decide to monsoon on you. Since a monsoon doesn’t have any feelings due to the fact that it’s a monsoon not a person, it doesn’t care if it blows at you and dumps rain on you. Sometimes it dumps a lot of rain and makes huge puddles in the road. This can cause wetness to unsuspecting persons who may not be aware of what a monsoon will decide to do. At this point you are probably wondering how I know this. Well let me tell you I know because it’s been monsooning a lot since I’ve been in India. I will admit that I only went to the coffee shop once, which is what is called a limited experience, if you want the technical word for it. But I have been monsooned at many times which means I shouldn’t have to be interrupted by somebody who thinks I don’t know this.  I know when I’m being monsooned on for sure.  So that should settle the issue straight out.

I want to talk about fashion now. The ladies in India are very colorful. They wear things called sorrys which are up to 100 square yards of bright color cloth wrapped around them about 30 or 42 times. It takes a least four people to get an Indian lady dressed for the day and it probably takes up to 13 hours. So you can see that is why you should appreciate how the Indian ladies dress, mostly because it is almost impossible.  However, the lady can undo her sorry pretty much by herself by hooking the end on a branch or car bumper and just rolling along the road until she’s out. Then she needs to pick up the material quickly and run home because she’s almost naked. This would not be a problem if she is a Jainism follower, but most sorry wearers have normal religions like Hindooism or Muslumism or even Christianism. Overall, the Indian ladies are colorful to look at against the trash and cows.  A nice balance if you ask me.

I don’t like to say it, but the Indian men are most of the time without fashion one bit. They are, to put it in words, basically slobs. Being not liberated enough to roll up in a sorry like the ladies, they have two options unless they are a Jainism follower which would make three options. But nakedness is not really a fashion issue but a religious issue and I don’t want to be interrupted with that kind of nonsense again. So, like I said, the men are slobs. They don’t want to work for a fashion statement so they either wear a kind of half sorry which is wrapping their private parts in a hangy diaper thing with a sweaty button shirt on top, or they wear sweaty dress pants with a sweaty button shirt on top. No man is supposed to wear shorts in public. This is a major problem with the Indian concept of fashion. Why in a hot country like India is men can’t wear shorts is beyond me. I think it is their idea of modesty. But let me ask you, do you think wearing a hangy diaper thing is modest? I would say not for sure. I say let them wear shorts. But I would draw the line at speedos. I am a conservative person mostly.

Even if I am making comments about India, it is due to the fact that I have experience. Don’t worry, I am not prejaundiced toward Indian fashion and monsoons. I am more a culture critic than you would imagine. Being a culture critic I am sensitive to these things and can make neutered observances. That is my mission. Hopefully others will learn from my insides on India which I am writing about it. Now that I am not maybe going to write another blog about India unless I do, I want to leave you with a thought, more of an idea actually. India has done pretty good considering they have a billion or so people here and 32 million gods and lots of cows and trash. Take away even one of those things and you have New Orleans, and you know what a mess that place is.

I am happy to be back in America, mostly because people don’t poke my coffee beans right in front of my eyes. Otherwise, I still think our one God should consider adding some help, outsourcing they call it. From what I can tell, there are a lot of gods around India who don’t have a whole lot to do. Maybe they’d like to move back to America and help out. It could speed things up a little over here, and besides Americans aren’t that particular.


One Response

  1. “Over all the Indian ladies are colorful to look at against the trash and cows. A nice balance if you ask me.”


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