Something My Uncle Told Me

I had an uncle when I was little. He is dead now but that is probably not all his fault, but maybe mostly. Who knows? Anyway, my uncle had a saying he kept saying to me. Here is the saying, “The beetle in the box doesn’t know any better.”

Now I ask you, what kind of saying is that? All the time he was saying it to me it was like it was supposed to mean something important. I did not understand what his point was on that saying but I didn’t dare ask him because he was my uncle and I was just a kid who got this saying put at me. I think he wanted me to remember it like it would come in handy some day and I would think, wow my uncle sure was smart. Well, considering that my uncle is dead and most likely isn’t reading this blog I am telling you that I have no idea what that saying means. Not even a little bit. It has stuck in my mind but you can bet that it hasn’t come in handy one time. It is what you could call a totally useless saying.

Maybe my uncle was trying to play a trick on me and give me a useless saying that I would wonder about my whole life. Maybe he is laughing in the place where dead people go when they are dead. Maybe he is talking to George Carlin about it. Maybe he is saying, look at that kid down there I gave a useless saying to and him and George are laughing about it. How should I know? I’m not dead yet. But I tell you this, that saying has hardly not affected me one bit that I know of. So the joke is on him I’m thinking. I am only telling you all this so you can find out if somebody gave you a useless saying when you were a kid.

There was this guy named Yogi Bear who was a baseball coach for the Newark Yankees. He got famous because he remembered all the useless sayings he knew from growing up like “there she blows.” They even named a cartoon after him I think. He got famous but my uncle didn’t. Which just goes to show that useless sayings can’t help you get ahead in life except if you are a baseball coach maybe. That would go for spitting too.

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