That light at the end of the tunnel thing

I’ve heard that when some people die they see a light at the end of a tunnel. We know this from people who have almost died but didn’t. As I said before on this great blog, almost dying is not the same as dying all the way which means you don’t come back and tell what you saw. When you’re dead you’re stuck with that information all to yourself. So I must admit that I take the whole tunnel thing with a grain of split milk as they say.

First of all I wonder about the tunnel. Why is supposed to look like a tunnel in the first place I want to know. Why couldn’t it be something else, like a donut? A donut would be a great thing to die to if you want to know my opinion about it. First you kick the bucket then you see a donut. It would be like one of those old fashioned donuts with chocolate frosting. It almost makes you want to die just to see that donut. The idea is that you walk into the middle of that donut and then you find yourself dead and not minding even one bit because you’re in the middle of this really huge donut with chocolate frosting.

But maybe it’s not a donut either. A tunnel may be just a mistake for a paper plate on a table with a black table cloth. This would be kind of depressing, if you as me. So there you are dead and all you have is a paper plate to show for it, unless there is a second part to it that almost dead people never get to which would be like a potluck thing that you take the paper plate to fill up with food. That would be even cooler than a donut because I would probably get tired of donuts after a while. And remember being dead takes a long time to get over so you might as well make the best of it with lots of different kinds of food to put on that paper plate you got right at the beginning of being dead.

The light thing is also kind of freaky to me. When I close my eyes it gets dark. So if I died and it got light I would probably think I’d made a mistake and wasn’t dead after all. That would take all the sureness of being dead right out of the equation. You’d not only be dead, but you wouldn’t even have the satisfaction of knowing it for sure. It’d be like you couldn’t make up your mind and that would be a drag. The fun of being dead is that deadness is something you can count on.

But what if you really do see a light when you die. I would probably jump to the side as fast I possible being newly dead. I figure it could be a train or truck coming at me. I bet that’s how some people have really died. They thought they were dead and just stood there until a truck ran over them and then they were really dead and there was no light. They’d think “crap, I won’t make that mistake again” which they can’t because they’re dead now. So I’d jump out of the way in case I wasn’t really dead yet. Then if I was I wouldn’t lose anything anyway.

Some almost dead people say that the light at the end of the tunnel is nice and they want to go to it like it’s heaven or something. But I say no way. If it’s heaven let them come and get me for crying out loud. Gee, I probably just died and am pretty tired already. I say let them send a bus or something. I would read the side of the bus to see if it was going to heaven or hell. And believe you me, I wouldn’t be so stupid as to climb into the hell bus, even if that bus came first and I had to wait for awhile for the heaven bus to come, though I’d wonder about heaven if they had to use a bus.

So mostly I guess I’m saying that the whole light at the end of the tunnel thing is a bit shaky in my opinion of it. I would prefer something more definite like a sign with letters or even an angel with a name tag. But if I had to choose I’d probably take the donut idea because I like donuts.

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