The Pope

I heard that the pope came here visiting America a while ago. I don’t remember if I noticed at the time because I don’t usually go for imported religion or guys wearing jewry. But besides that, his visit was probably a good thing even though the pope is mostly a religious person when he’s on the job as far as I can tell. Since I am not Cathonic I don’t pay much attention to the pope due to the fact that he is only the boss of Catholics and can’t boss around the rest of America. This could be the reason he came here so he could try to get more people to let him boss them around. I think he will have his work cut out for him since in this great country we don’t let anybody boss us around even the president.

The pope is supposed to be an expert on God. I can’t vouch for that, but I am thinking that nobody will believe it if the pope keeps wearing a red cowboy hat. I ask you is this the way for a pope to dress? You bet it isn’t. I had a red cowboy hat when I was a kid and never even thought about pretending to be pope. My point is that everybody in America knows that a red cowboy hat is not pope material. People will look at that guy and think he is pretending to be a cowboy since he is in America. Maybe he is thinking about John Wayne or something and hoping he will blend in to America. The problem is that John Wayne never wore a red cowboy hat. Even those hermasexual cowboys in that movie Broken Mountain didn’t wear red cowboy hats. They didn’t even wear pink ones which would have been understandable sort of. But cowboy hats are supposed to be either black (bad guys) or white (good guys) or brown (normal guys). The pope must think a red cowboy hat means that he’s one of us. But let me tell you that is off the mark. We are going to look at that red cowboy hat and wonder about him for sure.

But I want you to know that even though I don’t want to be interrupted by religion on this great blog I am not against the pope even one bit. Except for the red cowboy hat he is a snappy dresser with all that gold and white robe stuff. Not too many other people could wear something like that in public and not be mistaken for a transitive person. I am not going to judge him on that. He does that so he will stand out from the sinners I’m guessing. They will notice him and that’s the point. Then he will do something massive and forgive them and they can go back to their lives substantialized which happens when you eat that flat bread and drink the wine. This is a positive thing for religious people. Since I am not interrupted by religion I don’t have a pope to subsidize me like that. I pull up my bootstraps for my own self. This is the American way and applies to religion too. Religion in America is demographic just as our four fathers said. And you can bet they never wore a red cowboy hat, except they wore wigs which is kind of weird too. But I guess when push come to shove I’d take a white wig over a red cowboy hat. Don’t ask me why since it is probably just a matter of opinion.

Since the pope gave all that effort to come to this great country, we should all be nice about it. He was far away from his throne and that huge church building in Rome. He probably missed his bed and was making a great sacrifice to be seen in that little pope car they have. I personally would be embarrassed to be seen in something like that. It’s not even a bit religious or American. There the pope is like a window dummy all along the route. And I wonder how he goes to the bathroom in there. Do they hook him up to a tube so he can pee anytime he wants and nobody notices? Maybe that’s one of the advantages of those long robes. He could even be sitting on a portapotty and nobody would even know it. So even though the pope car is kind of dumb looking maybe it is the smartest thing unless there is no bathroom fan in it which would make sitting in there really hard for a long time.

Well, anyway. If the pope reads this great blog I want him to know that I am welcoming to him here in America even if I missed his visit. I am probably one of the people who can relate to him on a megaphysical level that he would appreciate. But even so, Mr. pope, you should get rid of that red cowboy hat and get an iPod or something. Any thing would be better than the cowboy hat, even that tall pointy hat you wear sometimes.

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One Response

  1. lame article

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