Gravity

gravityGravity is not my fault. It was invented by a guy named Wayne Newton back in the Enlightenment times. The rumor says that Newton was sitting under a tree and an apple fell on his head. Supposedly his first thought was to invent gravity. This story is so bogus due to the fact that nobody could be expected to invent something as big a deal as gravity after getting their head hit by a fruit. Most likely he just said ouch or a swear word and then moved to another tree that didn’t have fruit, which he should have done in the first place if he was so smart.

But besides the fact that the rumor is not true probably, the fact that Newton did invent gravity (except not by being hit with an apple) is way important to modern life. Most of us just take for granite that gravity is there. That is due to the fact that it is now. But can you imagine what life was like for people before Newton invented gravity? Probably not since I’m bringing it up.

I have done some of what you call research about this topic. Not even Goggle or Wikipedia seems to even mention what it was like before gravity was invented. This goes to show that the internet isn’t all that great and that people can still learn things the old fashioned way from people like me on this blog.

So because nobody reported back then about there not being gravity yet, I had to do some experiments on my own to find out. First I jumped up as high as I could and imagined very fast that there was no gravity. This is okay except that you only have about maybe half a second to do your experiment. Then you come down and it’s pretty much over. So then I remembered about spacemen with NASAL who floated up in space which is how spacemen got their name. But that is limited because they are not on the ground which is not the same thing at all.

So I was pretty much stuck just having to put the whole idea together in my mind and do what you call extrapolate. This is what I found out. Before gravity was invented there could be no sports like golf or basketball for obviated reasons. Most people could figure that out their own self. The weirdest thing I found was that you cannot have pancakes not even one bit. Personally, this discovery shook me to my bottom.

So anyway, I’m pretty glad for this guy Newton and his invention. So should you be too which is why I wrote this in the first place.

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One Response

  1. Hooray for pancakes! Thanks Wayne Newton!

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