Fairy Tales

I am thinking about writing a fairy tale and here’s why. Most fairy tales these days are lame. They are all nice and everything and even the bad guys are nice. They start nice and the go on nice and they end nice. This is a misreprehension of reality. Fairy tales are supposed to show kids that they could get eaten by a wolf or turned into a toad at any time. They’re supposed to show kids that the world is filled with trolls under bridges and witches living in candy houses that will catch them and boil them just like that. Kids these days don’t hardly know enough to be scared of monsters in their closet or poison apples or making deals with short weird guys with funny hats. This is a transvesty pure and simple. How can you have a normal childhood without being worried about talking goats or ugly stepmothers. A kid who isn’t worried about meeting the devil on their way to school isn’t a kid at all I say.

And don’t even talk to me about Disney stories. They are all in color with singing and happy endings and nice morals. Nobody sings in a real fairy tale anyway unless it is to trap some stupid kid so you can cut his ears off. And fairy tales are meant to be in a book not in a movie. When they’re in a book a kid has his own imagination against him which is scarier for sure than some cute singing princess any day. Fairy tales are meant to infect a kid’s imagination by turning it black and white and giving him nightmares to have at night. Disney stories are obamanations in this department pure and simple. I am unanimous with myself on this.

Anyway, as I said already, I am thinking about writing a real fairy tale. I’ve got some really good ideas and here are some of them:

  • some kid steals money from a blind guy or maybe his car
  • a mean old witch takes ballroom dancing lessons and gets really good at it
  • five cows open a great hamburger place but in a bad location
  • a poor girl discovers that she is just a poor girl and has to deal with it
  • a king gets a wish from a genie who turns out to be his mother-in-law’s second cousin
  • two children get lost in the woods and learn a valuable lesson about acid

I’m not sure which one is the best to start off with yet, but I’m going to get a publisher first so I don’t end up writing it for nothing.

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One Response

  1. I think you’ve been reading too many headlines. These tales are all true nowadays. 😀

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