Shakespeare isn’t all that great

One time on this great blog I talked about reading which I covered pretty much all of I think. That is why this is such a great blog in the first place due to the fact that I cover pretty much all of whatever I talk about. Even CNN or the New Jersey Times can’t say that. Maybe you can get close with that encyclopedic metallica but who’s got time to go through all those books unless you’re doing it as a stunt to make money off of which one guy did I heard. Then he wrote a book about it which shows that he thought that the encyclopedia didn’t have everything in it or he wouldn’t have written another book. But that’s neither there or someplace else for my point which is something else than that.

Anyway, writing that blog about reading accidentally made me think of Shakespeare and how everybody thinks he’s such a great writer and everything. Everybody talks about him like he’s the best writer there ever was but how can you even say that I ask you? There are tons of good writers who are just as dead as Shakespear. Oh sure, Shakespeare wrote some great put-downs. Here’s one of his from his movie Henry VI (this is part of his Henry movies that had eight of them total which is cool since the Henry Potter movies also had eight of them.) Anyway, here is a put-down from that movie: “Thou mis-shapen dick!” Now that’s what you call a slam if you ask me. They must have had looser ratings back then or maybe “mis-shapen” had another meaning than now. Then there’s this one from Richard III (I think he only made three of these probably because they weren’t as popular I’m guessing.) So, here it is: “Thou lump of foul deformity!” That’s a slam for sure too. I’ll say this for him, that Shakespeare sure could throw the poop so to speak.

But just because a guy can insult somebody doesn’t mean they’re all that great otherwise. There used to be a comedian called Don Heckles (not the impersonator) who made a living out of insulting people. He would call people Jews just to get their hackles up. He even made fun of President Reagan but I think the president was asleep at the time and didn’t notice enough to get his hackles upped. Don Heckles biggest put-down was to call people a hockey puck. I remember this for sure. And even though I’m not prejaundiced against Canadians one bit, you can see why calling somebody a hockey puck would be an insult and funny at the same time. Still, nobody would call Don Heckles the greatest writer of all time. He’s maybe 7th or 8th at best.

So what I’m saying is that Shakespeare may have a lot going for him (except the dead part) but that doesn’t mean he’s super great. There are lots of downsides to him that hardly anybody wants to say out loud due to the fact that they think they’ll look stupid if they say anything against Shakespeare. But I’m way beyond stupidity as you have probably picked up if you’ve been following this great blog. That’s why I can say it like it is and be admired for it.

Anyway, here are some downsides to Shakespeare that makes him not so great as people try to make him out to be. First, nobody can really understand him. People pretend to understand him like college teachers and drama people. But teachers do that for job security to act like they know something nobody else does. That is the definition of college teachers. And drama people just like to use fake accents when they talk and that’s pretty much it for them. I have not met one person who understands Shakespeare which is why most of them don’t even watch his movies anymore.

Another reason he’s not so great is that he’s a terrible speller. Shakespeare spelled things any old way he wanted to and got away with it. (The lame e at the end of his name is a perfect case in points.) The reason is that back then the actors said things out loud and so the people couldn’t see the bad spelling unless they could hear it which I doubt since most people back then didn’t speak American. It was probably only when they invented billboards that your average person started to notice.

One last reason I will give for Shakespeare not being all that great (which I have a lot more of let me tell you but I am not going to put them down due to the fact of brevity) is that Shakespeare made everybody talk like a poem. Even his bad guys. How lame can you get? Seriously, can you imagine the Godfather saying “I shall maketh him an offer he canst not refuseth”? That would be totally unreality to the max. Add that to the fact that he also made all his guys wear tights and poofy short pants and you’ve got what they call an intended phallacy on your hands. No wonder the gays took over Broadway. This is a case of misreprehension plain and simple.

So I’d save yourself a lot of trouble and forget Shakespeare. If you want to get civilized, reading this blog is probably good enough.

shakespeare

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