Old toilets incident

I am not against toilets exactly. They are needed sometimes and if you don’t have one when you really need it you have an issue on your hands that’s not megaphysical even one bit. So I am not going to complain about them since they are an invention of civilization.

But I have not had a very good experience with toilets in my house which you would know about if you have been following this great blog. I have four bathrooms in my house which is a lot unless you need one fast but three people have beat you to the punch. Then you are not thinking that you have too many bathrooms but are almost religious about having one extra one you can maybe get to before it’s too late.

Anyway, in the last few months three of my toilets pooped out on me and so I bought some new ones that the box says can flush a bucket of golf balls in one flush. That’s powerful if you ask me though I haven’t been able to prove it yet due to the fact that I have only been able to swallow three golf balls so far. It makes me impressed by the people who test toilets. That must be no picnic in my opinion of it.

Well, I replaced those pooped out toilets and put them out on the side of my driveway to take to the dump. They sat there for a long time and I started to get nervous that my neighbors would think that I was tailored trash or something. So on Saturday I made my kid who owns a pickup help me load those old toilets in his truck to take to the dump. But as we loaded them one of the lids broke and I cut two of my fingers and started bleeding all over the place. It was kind of cool until I saw that it was my blood and not my kid’s which changed my opinion about it pronto. So I bled all the way into the bathroom where I also bled all over in there and then my wife helped me put bandages on my fingers which helped a bit but not much.

So I got back into the truck with my unbleeding kid and we drove to the dump yard (which is called a “transfer station” in Oregon to fake out the environment nuts) and we backed into the dump place. But as we unloaded the last pooped toilet I cut my thumb and it started bleeding like crazy and the only thing that my kid had in his truck was a plastic bag that I stuck my thumb in to catch all the blood. And then we had to stop at the pay hut and fork over $15 for using that dump (which is highway bribery if you ask me) and then we drove back home with me bleeding in a plastic bag all the way.

So now I have three fingers with bandages on them that I figure cost me five bucks each to cut. The good thing is that I don’t have three pooped toilets sitting in my driveway for the neighbors to wonder about me about, but I’m not sure it was worth 15 bucks and three bleeding fingers just to keep their property values up.

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