Back to school

The best part about September is the beginning of school when kids have to go back to school if they want to or not. This is a good reminder to them that reality is stronger than summer and teaches those kids that life means doing stuff you don’t want to do even if they don’t learn anything else in school which most of them don’t. September is also great for parents who are glad to finally get rid of their kids again until next summer. It’s a pretty good system if you think about it.

I remember back when I went to school. Even though I had to go (the reality thing) I was also excited due to the fact that I got to get new school stuff. I remember when my mom would take me to the bus depot downtown where there was always a lot of trash floating around. We would have a “treasure hunt” she called it where I would search around the bus depot for writable pieces of paper which she let me scotch tape together for a notebook. It was kind of fun. Then we had this contest to see how small my crayons could get before I couldn’t color with them anymore. I remember that I made one set (16 crayons) last almost three years before my mom made me borrow red and blue ones from my best friend Nick (who always got a new 64 box) which he didn’t notice them missing and my mom said not to worry him about it so I never said anything. It was a pretty good system if you think about it. I tried it on my kids one year but that lasted about five seconds before they got their mom to take them to Fred Meyer. Kids sure are spoiled these days.

Anyway, since my last name starts with A, on the first day of school I always got the first of everything. I got the first desk. I got the first storage drawer. I got the first place in line to go to the library which they don’t have anymore due to the fact that nobody reads books anymore especially the World Book encyclopedia which was my favorite book report book since I could just find my subject and copy the article in my own words which was okay back then due to the fact that they hadn’t invented plagiarism yet. Now days the only way a kid can write a book report is to out and out cheat on it which is a shame if you ask me about it. Copying used to be what you call an educational method but now it’s thought of as a plague (which is how they got the word plagiarism in the first place). No wonder schools today are in trouble.

What I liked best about grade school was recess. Back then they didn’t make us do “activities” but just turned us loose to run around. We didn’t have to play some lame kickball thing have to play with girls if we didn’t want to. That was how recess was supposed to be and we learned a lot about life due to it. My biggest lesson was in second grade when I got slapped in the face by Kimberly Thompson (that is her real name and I don’t care if she sees this). I don’t remember why she slapped me but she did and that was that. In second grade you don’t think about the meaning of things but just get slapped and move on with it. If we had more real recess these days more kids would most likely get slapped for no good reason too which as far as I can tell from kids now days would be a great idea in my opinion of it. A few slaps at recess would nip a lot of America’s problems in the butt if you ask me.

So I’m glad it’s back to school time even if kids don’t learn anything anymore. It’s still good to know that for a few hours each day they can be a pain in somebody else’s butt at least.

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