Moby Dick

As you should know about me, I read books. Not those fake books some people think are real books which I wrote about once before and won’t talk again about it for the sake of repetition. I read real books. the kind that have only one book in them and if you want another one you have to go and get a whole other book which doesn’t have the first book in it only the new one which is a process you have to go through every time and separates the wheat from the boys let me tell you. But I don’t want to get distracted by myself due to this issue which I won’t. I am going to talk about a real book that is totally famous due to the fact that lots of people know about it.

Except for maybe Little House of the Prairie, Moby Dick is for sure the most megaphysical book ever written. It is a book that almost everybody who lives in this great country knows about except for kids in school. And even those who have heard about it no way have read it even if they pretend to know all about it. That is pretty much the definition of a classic book in my book of it. But even though hardly anybody reads a classic book but just knows about it, those guys still wrote them due to the fact that they couldn’t help it. This is what you call creativity but which some psychoists call obsessivity. They’re pretty much the same thing except for that creative people are usually broke.

Anyway, Moby Dick was written by a guy named Herman Melville back in the 1800s when he was still alive. It is a very long book about this guy Captain Ahab who tries to kill this white whale due to the fact that the whale ate his leg off and so now he has to have a wood leg which really makes him mad, probably since he couldn’t take a shower without it getting all soggy. Anyway, this story is a direct rip off of the Peter Pan movie except in Peter Pan the guy was called Captain Hook and he had his arm chopped off instead of his leg by an alligator instead of a whale. But even if Herman Melville stole it from Disney, he turned that cartoon into a super long megaphysical book that is way deeper than Peter Pan except for the songs which Melville didn’t keep in his version probably because of copyrights.

But just so you know, just because a story is about a white whale doesn’t make it megaphysical. For example, like a story about a white whale that went to school and learned to be nice to his fish friends and ended up happy at the end. How stupid can you get? You can bet that there wouldn’t be one single megaphysicality in that dumb story even if it didn’t have pictures. What makes Moby Dick megaphysical is that he’s not just a whale but he’s a concept which is more than an idea for sure. This is really impotent for the meaning of the story due to the fact that Captain Ahab is really chasing after a concept not a whale. This gets really complicated due to the fact that it ends up being a concept that ate his leg off. So he wants to kill that concept with a typhoon. But in order to do that he has to find that concept out there in the ocean and when he does he has to get into a little boat to get close enough to jab it. Ahab wants to get revenge on that concept which ate his leg off. This all by itself is more megaphysical than most other books in my book.

Well, most of Moby Dick is about Ahab thinking about that concept and getting himself all worked up about it. The crew on his ship (which is called the Peapod) thinks he is going crazy which he totally is but they are afraid of him. Besides, they like his speeches and he bribes them with gold so they go along with the whole killing the concept plan. They probably also didn’t have a lot of other job offers out there anyway. So eventually they find Moby Dick and Ahab jumps in a little boat and tries to kill the white whale but ends up getting killed himself which makes perfect sense due to the fact that you can’t kill a concept even if you don’t like it. (You can maybe kill of an idea, but that’s different.) This is the megaphysicalness of Moby Dick that I am talking about.

So if you want to learn about megaphysicality on your own instead of just from this great blog, then you should read Moby Dick for sure. But if that’s too hard of a book then start out with Little House of the Prairie which is easier and has little kids in it. But don’t get one of those cartoon books of Moby Dick which is so that dumb people can at least look at the pictures. There is no way a cartoon book is megaphysical any more than a cartoon movie is so I don’t want you to think reading a comic book called Moby Dick is the same thing as the real Moby Dick book. Fake is fake especially in the megaphysical department.

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