Costco

I am a member of Costco due to the fact that I have made a business out of thinking above my mind sort of. Actually it isn’t really a business since I don’t make any money above my mind even one bit but I tied my above the mind activities to what you call a nonprofit organization which thinking above your mind totally is except I made it into an organization on paper that Costco can look at and let me be a member of itself. There is something ironical about this which I haven’t been able to figure out but when I do I will most likely talk about it on this great blog.

Anyway, Costco is a huge warehouse building totally full of stuff that you can buy. When you walk in there you see all kinds of things that you didn’t know you needed until you saw them and then you can buy those things in what you call bulk which is instead of buying one tube of toothpaste you have to buy like 50 of them for lots more money but they make you think you’re getting a great deal which you most likely are but you don’t get to have that deal until you use up all 50 tubes which might take you five years but you’re still happy you blew all that money on toothpaste which is not what you think when you get just one tube at Fred Meyer.

Another thing that’s kind of cool about Costco is that sometimes they have these little tables set up all over that give out free samples of stuff like pieces of burritos or chicken stuff or fruit drinks. If you play your cards right you can sample yourself a whole lunch if you go around three times maybe. I try wait until they switch helpers before going back to the same table but sometimes you just have to excrete boldness and just walk right up to that table again and take some more even if the lady gives you a look. I figure the worst they can do is maybe say something snickery at me but that’s a small price to pay for a few free bagel bites I think. And if even three times around doesn’t fill you up you can buy a foot-long hot dog and a big drink for $1.50 which is totally cheap. And then you can take that hot dog over to the little table by the napkins and pile that hot dog with gallons of ketchup and mustard and relish and onions which makes that hot dog worth like five bucks easy. The downside is that your hands smell like Costco hot dogs for the rest of the day even if you wash your hands for 20 minutes like I do sometimes. Still, the smell is a small price to pay for a totally cheap hot dog I think.

But mostly it’s cool being a member of Costco due to the fact that lots of people can’t buy stuff there because they’re not members. Every time I show my member card to the person at the door who keeps out the losers I know I’m in a excluded club. That guard person looks at my card and says thank you like I’m doing them a favor just by showing up which I guess I am since all that money I spend there probably pays half their celery and heath benefits. But I enter that big building with pride because I am a member and not a loser like those other people who have to buy at K-Mart.

The downside to going to Costco is that it’s really hard to stay above your mind in there due to all the cool stuff piled to the roof, but that’s a small price to pay for 50 tubes of toothpaste if you ask me about it.

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