I am a person who doesn’t like clowns even one bit. They are supposed to be all happy and fun but do you think I believe that? You bet I don’t. There is something wrong about clowns even if there is a real person under there somewhere which I kind of doubt but can’t prove it since that’s not my speciality.

I went to a circus when I was a little kid and saw one of those little cars and out popped like 20 clowns out of that tiny car and I was totally amazed and then those clowns spread all over the place an pulled ladies wigs off and dug in their purses to find bras and other lady dementionals and showed them to everybody in the audience which I didn’t understand was so funny. And then those clowns kept bashing each other on the head and tripping each other and they didn’t talk normal but just kind of squawked and twisted up their faces and that made me kind of nervous of them for sure.

And then there is the makeup they put on like big noses and red paint and weird orange wigs to cover up their real selves which are most likely not even funny one bit in real life. And then they wear baggy weird clothes and those big shoes they flop around in. When you put all those things together you end up with total weirdness not funnyness at all.

Some people might think that clowns are megaphysical due to their weirdness like they stand for unreality but this is way wrong in my opinion unless you think big shoes are megaphysical which I totally don’t. There are a bunch of scary movies that have evil clowns in them but they are not megaphysical like Moby Dick is. For one thing, Moby Dick was a white whale which clowns are so not. And you would never see Moby Dick with one of those red noses on either. This is mostly due to the fact that whales don’t have noses just holes on the top of their head which would defeat the point of it anyway, but that is not the main point which is that Moby Dick is megaphysical because he stands for something but clowns are just clowns and you cannot stand for yourself and still be megaphysical which I for sure know about.

What’s really bad is that people think clowns are for kids. They hire them for birthday parties and put them on the street to pervert balloons into dumb shapes that don’t even look like dogs or hats. No wonder we have so many kids with problems in school. They’ve been trampolined by clowns who don’t even stand for anything. I say wake up people and keep clowns out of civilization. If you’re going to mess up a kid, do it with concepts instead.


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