Going to India

Tomorrow I am going to India. I will be on a plane for like 24 hours. That is the bad thing. The good thing is that I am going in business class due to the fact that I blew 120,000 award miles to get graded up. This is a total racket in my opinion except that it would be worser than anything to spend 24 hours crammed in the cheap seats where degraded people sit. I am not biased against normal people except for being crammed with them for 24 hours on a plane. Then they can take a hike in my book.

In business class you have bigger seats and nobody can lean their seat back in your face and get away with it. Not only that but you can make your seat flat if you want to pretend that your in a motel. Not only that, but you get a bigger TV and you get your dinner served on a table cloth with real steel forks and knives which they won’t let the cheap seat people have for security reasons, mostly due to the fact that those cheap people get grouchy after a few hours and might stab somebody. So they get plastic stuff which they are totally worth.

But even though you are in business class and not with the cheapos in the back, you get kind of squirmy after a few hours anyway. That’s why they keep bringing you wine and drinks so you get plastered.  It’s impossible to hijack a plane when you’re plastered mostly due to the fact that you can’t even stand up and who’s going listen to some drunk idiot spatted in his seat who wants to take over? Nobody for sure. Besides, most plastered people just fall asleep and wake up with a headache.

I am not a movie person since I read books instead which is not like most people in this great country. But with 24 hours on the plane I usually turn on the movies and watch them halfway since I already paid for them with my 120,000 miles. But after a few hours of that I start drooling and just go to sleep.

The worst part is when you finally get to India and you’re all greasy and yucky and then you step into India which is totally hot and muggy and that makes you double yucky in about a minute flat. But then you remember that in India most people are greasy and yucky due to the heat and besides there’s a lot of cow poop and garbage around and so you start to feel at home anyway. Who can smell you in that place I ask you. Nobody for sure.

So anyway, I am taking off in the morning so you will have to do without this great blog for awhile. Hopefully you know how to be at least a bit megaphysical from following this great blog and you can hold out until I do this blog again which may be even when I’m in India so you never know because in India really weird stuff can happen even to people like me who think above their mind.

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One Response

  1. Have a good trip… in all senses of the word.

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