Megaphysical motorcycle ride

As I told you before and you should know if you have been following this great blog, I am in India (the country, not the state) which is a place I have been to before which you also should know due to the fact that I told about it on this great blog already and am not about to tell you about again for the same reason I give over and over about not repeating myself. This is due to the fact that I am concentrated on this blog and don’t get off track like this one person I happen to know who can never get to the point of the fact but always has to go through every little detail of a story which I am not interested in one bit but this person thinks that the only way to make a point is to tell the whole history of life up to that point which you don’t have to one bit. So I usually interrupt them in the middle of their history lesson to tell them to get on with it which, if you want to know, doesn’t exactly make them happy and then I end up having to pretend that I didn’t mean to interrupt them (which I totally did mean but am faking it for unification purposes) and then they start the whole thing over again and even forget the whole point of what they were telling me the story for in the first place which for sure I don’t remember either since I wasn’t really listening in the first place. Anyway, like I said, that’s not going to happen on this great blog for sure.

So last night here in India which is most likely your morning since I’m 11 or 12 and a half hours ahead of where I live normally, which is kind of weird since I’m living in your future and you’re not to my past yet. This raises a bunch of questions about time and who is actually in the now and who isn’t there yet or maybe was once but isn’t now. Science has some answers called the theory of relatives which says that everybody has a different time from everybody else especially if you’re a fast runner. But I don’t want to talk about those ideas (not concepts exactly) now due to the fact that by the time I explain it you would finally get to my now where I wouldn’t be anymore anyway and what would be the point of that I ask you?

As I said before interrupting myself with time, last night (your morning) I was invited to talk at a church here in India, which is totally convenient since that is where I am. If you have been following on this great blog you will know that I don’t like to be interrupted with religion so you might be surprised to find out that I accepted that invitation to talk at that church here in India. You may wonder why I would do that since I don’t like to be interrupted with religion which a church is for sure. Now in America you would be right in wondering if I had gone against my pupils or even sold out for money but in India the line between religion and megaphysicality is not that clear due to the fact that in India they can worship cows and have a McDonald’s in the same town. So anyway, I accepted the invitation to speak at this church which was not a Hindoo temple or a Muslim mask. It was a normal church like in America so I felt that I could at least go to it and not give up my great country.

You may wonder why a church in India would ask me to talk to them, but I think it was due to the fact that somebody has been following along on this great blog and figured I would most likely know about religion as anybody and maybe even more since I was an American to boot. So I said I would come there and talk to them. Well, it turned out to be one of the biggest churches in India which I didn’t know but am glad since I would hate to waste a good evening in some average church. When I got there I saw that they had a huge building that was like five stories high and had huge statuaries on every floor for different languages. The one on the bottom was for Tamil talkers which is what lots of people talk round here and the one on the top was for people who speak American which I did and that’s the one they invited me to speak at.  It was so big that they had cameras to put my face on a huge screen so the people who couldn’t afford more expensive seats and had to sit in the back could see me talk. And I also found out afterwards that they put my talk right on the internet in what they call streaming or something at the same time as I was talking so even people who didn’t pay to get in could see it. I think this is due to the fact that churches are supposed offer at least something for free.

Anyway, to get to that church some guy put me on the back of a motorcycle to drive me there. Now I told you before that it’s hard to think above your mind in India due to the hotness but that motorcycle ride through Indian traffic was a cast of megaphysicality like you wouldn’t believe. I think it’s because when you are one second away from being totally dead you can get megaphysical no matter what the temperature is. I should have known it was going to be an experience when the drive put a helmet on but didn’t give me one. So I hopped on the back and he took off like a bat out of a helmet through cars honking and motorcycles with 12 people on them and big buses that drive all over the place and where a red light means drive faster and where the Indians can take a three lane road and make 25 lanes out of it and you are always about two inches from getting your leg torn off and nobody looks behind them but just swerves where they want to go and people run out right in front of you due to the fact that if they don’t jump in the middle of traffic they’ll be stuck on the side of the road for days and days and trash is wooshed up in your face and exhaust smoke and dirt and probably cow poop too and your hanging on to the back of this motorcycle and hoping you don’t end up totally dead in a country that doesn’t even believe in traffic rules on bit.

So on the back of that motorcycle I was shot right into megaphysicality like nobody’s business which is not the same as getting up there like I normally do, let me tell you, and all I can say about that is no wonder India is known for being megaphysical since you can’t even cross the street around here without being confronted by either a cow or death. And just so you know, I prefer American megaphyicality way more, even if it is more expensive in the short run, mostly because a cow is not my idea of a good time.

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