Old Churches

65386410aj7doyeyolebb5ecI like the old style churches. The kind made of wood and with a steeple on the top of the roof. I don’t like the new kind of church that looks like an office building or a warehouse or just some giantific hunk of building taking up all the good scenery. There is no way I would go to church in one of those places. I don’t even think God goes to them either but that’s totally a religious issue which you should know I don’t want to be interrupted with even by myself.

The old churches are cool (which look like what I already said so I won’t repeat myself and I added the picture so I won’t have to mention it again). They look like a real person who just got out of bed in the morning which is what most people who go to church look like unless they decorate themselves to go to their fancy church buildings. What’s point I ask you of decorating yourself for God? He supposedly already knows what you look like when you get up and he probably has to deal with the same issues. So I’m guessing he probably likes the old style churches too.

I especially like the tall steeple which points to heaven up there somewhere. It’s like an antenna that shoots your prayers straight up and it might even pick up God talking too except I’ve never heard that in church only the preacher who always sounds an awful lot like just a person who likes to hear himself talk. Maybe the steeple is only one-way but I don’t know about the statistics of how it works.

I also like those long wood chairs called pews. They are totally uncomfortable to sit in which they should be since we’re talking religion here. That’s an important reason for religion to make us uncomfortable. If you go to church and are comfortable you might as well stay home in your stuffy chair and listen to what you want to listen to instead of the preacher. But the pews are a great way to be reminded of religion. I only don’t like the name “pew” which seems not to belong in a church except once when I was about seven years old I let one slip during church and everybody pretended to ignore it even though it was a major one with a lot of smell in it. I guess everybody thought that ignoring it was the religious thing to do. But I would have felt better if somebody would just have yelled out “Whopper!” or something like that, mostly because it was one of the best ones I ever did.

Anyway, if here was an old church around here I might go there even though I’m not religious as you should already know by now I hope. I don’t figure I’d get kicked out since I heard church people like other people to show up. I know how I’d feel if nobody came to my party. I’d hate to let God down even if he doesn’t exist exactly.


One Response

  1. Well, I know just the right place for you: St Mary in Mt Angel. Although not wooden, it has all the things you would like: a very steep steeple [a brand-new one], no carpeting, wooden pews. German style.

    And there happens to be a great concert tomorrow, Sunday March 11, 4 p.m. Pacific Daylight Saving Time. Dvorak: Stabat Mater, with Festival Chorale Oregon, a 35-piece orchestra, and four pro vocal soloists. The perfect piece for the space, and the perfect space for the piece.

    So, bring your pillow or two [one to sit on and one for your back], and enjoy a great old style church.

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