The Superbowl vs Religion

Superbowl

This is about the Superbowl. I am not a fanatical fan like everybody else about it. I do not see the big deal even one bit. It’s like a religion which you should know by now I don’t like to be interrupted with on this blog. But in case you haven’t followed this great blog, you now know it on dead point.

But since the Superbowl is a big deal I am going to push football above my mind just this once to make a megaphysicality out of it. I am a professional at thinking above my mind so I can most likely pull this off which somebody else couldn’t do even a little bit. They would try but it would just be blah blah blah about the Superbowl instead of an idea or even a concept like I do on this great blog all the time. But since this blog is free there’s no use making a case of points about it. So like I say, I’m going to push the Superbowl above my mind and see how long it can hang up there, which is probably not all that long due to the fact of gravity.

There are lots of ways the Superbowl is like religion which a percepted blog would catch that the average person would miss. For example, both religion and the Superbowl are about winning. In the Superbowl they want to win the game and lots of reward money. In religion you want to win the game too and get a reward, except I don’t know if they have money in heaven or just use the barter system. Another way the Superbowl and religion are the same is that you have two teams. One is supposed to win and the other is supposed to lose. This is just like religion, including time outs when everybody takes a break for commercials. The Superbowl is mostly interesting if you like those commercials. They are funny even if the game is lame. That’s the same with religion. If the big game is putting people to sleep, there are lots of distractions to keep them from sleeping except for the sermon which is designed for sleeping in my experience. Both the Superbowl and religion have penalties too, except in the Superbowl you lose yards but in religion you lose your soul which makes it harder to score. There is also the 2-minute warning in both the Superbowl and religion. In the Superbowl they blow a whistle. In religion they have this thing called Armageddon which is the second to the last thing in the world. When that happens, you know the end is only a couple of minutes away. It’s pretty obvious if you see it.

oregon-ducks-cheerleaders-hotties2There are some differences I can point out too. First, the Superbowl has better cheerleaders by a long shot mostly due to the fact of those skimpy costumes. In religion you can’t show your assets, except when you’re baptized and your robe gets all wet, but nobody’s supposed to notice that since they’re required to be religious. I’d probably last two-seconds during a baptizing service due to the fact that I’d probably lose my religion after the first babe got dunked.

Second, in the Superbowl it’s easier to keep track of who’s ahead. You don’t see teams arguing about who’s got more points like in religion. In religion people want you to believe they are ahead even though nobody’s keeping score exactly. That’s called faith. The Superbowl has points. Religion has faith.

But maybe the biggest difference is that the Superbowl changes teams for each game. In religion you have the same teams all the time. It’s all kind of one long game. On one side you have the religious team. The New Jersey Saints are the closest to this idea. On the other side in religion you always have the pagans who are coached by the devil. The George Washington Redskins are a good example of that, being that the devil has the same color of skin. Anyway, since the devil can never lose his job, it’s probably a pretty good gig for him. But in religion it’s still the same two teams for forever and probably even longer. It’s kind of boring actually. Religious people might take advice from me and only do their religion once a year and call it good. Super Christmas or Championship Easter could work pretty good maybe. And that would keep people from having what you call religious burn out. (This is not the same thing as hell but pretty close.)

Anyway, after the Superbowl the whole thing will be over for another year. No matter how good a game it is, it will be history as they say. This is not like religion. Religion has made up history but it never becomes history like the Superbowl does. So in a way religion is more lasting, which means this blog will have to be careful all the time not to be interrupted by it.

So now I’m done trying to keep the Superbowl above my mind. And I don’t have anymore opinions on the subject.

Except I still wish religion had better commercials and cheerleaders.

football

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One Response

  1. Such (above the) mind-boggling perception is very rare!

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