Christmas Day is a Bummer

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I have been telling you about Christmas all month long except for the in-between days when I had to do some lower things like responsibilities which are totally not megaphysical but have to be done for the sake of marital conjunction. But even then I was still thinking above my mind, but I kept that under drapes so as not to make waves. Even professionals like me have to deal with extracirculars once in a while due to the fact of reality, which for me personally is optional but for most people is all they’ve got to work with.

Anyway, as I was saying before I interrupted myself, the Christmas season has been going on since Halloween, which is kind of what Thanksgiving used to be before we got over the whole gratitude thing, which got in the way of eating which I’ve already talked about here so I’m not going to repeat myself for the sake of repetition again. Now days, as soon as the Halloween decorations are put away you can put up the Christmas junk without worrying about missing anything important in between.

Rolled-Christmas-Sugar-CookiesMy point of the matter which I haven’t gotten to yet is that Christmas is mostly about it not actually being Christmas yet. There is all this build up with shopping and lights and wrapping and Christmas trees and Christmas songs and movies and cookies and stuff, which I’ve already written about all of it, except the cookies thing, which I forgot about until now, so let me just say that Christmas cookies should be sugar cookies piled with icing, period, and nothing with coconut or nuts in them which is a sure-fried way to ruin a good cookie. And why don’t people make divinity anymore I’d like to know, except without nuts the same as the cookie rule.

Anyway, as I was saying before I interrupted myself again, when all the Christmas building up is done being built up and you finally get to the actual day that is supposed to be Christmas it’s pretty much already over with. Everybody knows this by ignition but that still doesn’t stop it from happening every year anyway. It’s called holiday declension.

Some people try to make Christmas last longer by waiting to open their presents until December 25, but they’re only fooling themselves into thinking Christmas Day is part of the holiday, which it isn’t. To use a smile (a word picture that isn’t what you’re talking about which is not like a metaphor since a metaphor is only itself not something else) here is an example from literature (which I used to teach before they discovered my above the mind issue) so you can follow my strain of thought. In this book I read once there was a smile that went something like this (I can’t remember exactly since it was when I was a kid): “Dick laughed at Jane like she was a girl or something.” This shows that Jane was like a girl or something. This is called ambiguity which is the most important thing about great literature, but like I say I’m a professional and get in deeper than normal people. So now maybe you can see what I mean about waiting until Christmas Day to open your presents, which is lame even before you think about it.

To put a point under it, let’s just say that Christmas Day is really just the boring day after the Christmas season and just before the start of New Year’s week that comes after. It’s a day you mostly just sit around without anything to look forward to except New Year’s a whole week away which I just said. On Christmas Day you’re sick of Christmas music, your presents are already opened (except for the lame-o people I also just talked about), and it’s too early to start drinking a lot. It’s ironic that by the time you get to Santa’s actual birthday you’re sick of him.

I think we should just call the whole Christmas thing a wrap at midnight on Christmas Eve and move right into December 26 so you can return all the junk you got right away. Then you can shift December 25 to the day after New Year’s Day (and make it January 2) when you really need a downer. And I’m pretty much unanimous on this issue.

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